BMZ Is Educational
by Red Witch
Summary: More fun as the Brotherhood continue with their televised insanity.


**The disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters went off to college. Just another mad fic that won't go away until I write it down. **

**BMZ Is Educational**

"Welcome back TV Viewers to Brotherhood Mayhem Zone!" Lance said cheerfully into the camera. "This just in, what uptight group of pricks was just denied an injunction to shut down our TV show? First letter X, last letter Men!"

"Men is not a letter!" Kitty screamed at the television even though she knew Lance couldn't hear her.

"We all here at BMZ want to say a big thank you to Judge Malone for not only letting us keep our show, but sticking the X-Geeks with the court bills!" Todd beamed. "Remember folks, re-elect Judge Malone, a man you can depend on!"

"Yeah you can depend on him to screw up your life," Scott grumbled. Once again several X-Men were watching television. Scott, Hank, Jean, Kitty, Bobby, Kurt and Sam.

"I can't believe people actually watch this stupid show!" Kitty shouted.

"Kitty, **we're** watching this show," Jean gave her a look.

"Yeah but…Only because we **have **to," Kitty shrugged.

"No, we don't," Sam said. "Did it ever occur to you guys that maybe it ain't just the Brotherhood that's fueling the fires here? You know we do kind of overreact whenever they're around for some reason."

"Shut it, Sam," Scott stared intently at the television. "We need to hear how the Brotherhood are planning on ruining our lives as well as screwing up the future of the entire planet as well as mutant kind!"

"I know, I heard it too…" Hank sighed as Sam looked at him. "I'm considering medication at this point."

"Drugging the Brotherhood, not a bad idea," Scott rubbed his chin.

"I wasn't talking about medicating the **Brotherhood**, Scott," Hank gave him a look.

"Now we here at the Brotherhood think that the educational quality of this country is in a real sorry state," Lance said.

"Yeah look at us," Fred said. "And we're what's being thrown out of school! Can you imagine what's skating by! With **cheating**…Cough (Jean Grey) Cough!"

"Hank, exactly what kind of drugs do you have on hand?" Jean's eye twitched.

"So we at the Brotherhood decided to put on some fun educational stuff," Lance smiled. "First up for all those studying for the SAT's or other word tests it's our Vocabulary Power Segment!"

"I know a few words I could use to describe the Brotherhood," Bobby grumbled.

"Our first word of the day is zoysia," Fred read the dictionary. "It is any genius of creeping perennial grasses having fine wiry leaves and including some used as lawn grasses."

"Here it is in a sentence," Lance smiled. "Pyro burned the zoysia on the X-Men's front lawn!"

"Don't tell me…" Scott winced.

"Oh yeah," Jean sighed as she looked at both the television and out the window. "I'll get Storm to put it out." She telepathically informed the weather manipulator of what was going on. "She'll be right on it."

"I can't understand the appeal of this show!" Scott yelled. "I mean what kind of maniacs reward somebody for bad behavior? Who in their right mind would encourage such dangerous self destructive and illegal actions?"

"You didn't see the Grammy's this year did you, Scott?" Kitty asked.

"Or any entertainment news show for the past two years?" Jean gave him a look.

ZAP!

"WHOO AH HOOOOOOOO!" Pyro ran for his life away from the lightning.

"I admit, I find **this** segment enjoyable," Kurt smiled.

"Okay guys, this little rivalry thing is seriously getting out of hand," Sam said.

"**Getting **out of hand? Where have you **been** the past few years?" Bobby asked.

"All right viewers, I admit we aren't doing this episode of BMZ for the educational value," Lance said. "We did it to watch Pyro get in trouble for burning something of the X-Men's."

"Oh we also wanted to know what would happen if Rogue touched a seagull, a squirrel, a cat and a moose at the same time," Todd nodded his head. "So we bribed Quicksilver with a whole new wardrobe so he could see what happens!"

"Oh no…" Hank put his head in his hands as he heard the sounds of screams coming down the hallway. "They **didn't!"**

Pietro ran by screaming holding a video camera pointed behind him. Rogue flew behind him with medium size wings, a squirrel tail, cat claws on her fingers, fangs in her mouth and moose horns on her head. "DIE QUICKSILVER DIE!"

The whole scene was also being broadcast on the television. "You know they really should put an idiot crossing sign across our street," Scott sighed as the squeals of cars and crashes outside were heard. "Save us a lot of trouble in traffic court."

"They **never learn** do they?" Jean sighed.

"Apparently not," Hank sighed.

"Okay I admit **that **is their own fault," Sam said.

"How did they…?" Kitty blinked.

"Kitty, in this case ignorance is **bliss**," Hank groaned.


End file.
